Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
