I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
