Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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