I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Still dying that you shit outside
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
