all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
