Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
