yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Let's get the cat blown out
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
FUCK WHALES
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