I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
