He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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