guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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