just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.