One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.