They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
