Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
