I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
