How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you win again, gameday.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
