tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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