are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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