On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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