I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He kissed a someone with a penis
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
