I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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