The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
