so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
