Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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