if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
