She tied me up with her honor cords...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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