Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
soo... how was my night?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
