cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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