I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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