Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
