My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
