It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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