Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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