i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
