I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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