Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm at about main and main street
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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