The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
