Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
