just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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