You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
