omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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