he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
