can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
