I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
