Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
