you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjob tips. give me some.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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