We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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