I skipped work to stalk him.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
