I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
