the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
