I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
