Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
