theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
