weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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