I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
