if you like me you must not know who I am
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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