Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
