Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
