I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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