That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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